Through my work in the School, I have found that I do have something deep inside of me–far beyond any masks that I might wear to get through life–a true sense of myself that is real, and is timeless.
I feel so incredibly fortunate to have found the School–if I try to answer why, no answer seems really complete, but I can say that the School has helped me to develop a sense of myself and a connection to my surroundings and my life that I never thought possible.
Before I joined the School, I had become pretty jaded by life. I saw everyone as Actors, including myself, acting out different roles in our lives to get what we want. The smart ones of us, I thought, knew we were actors, and sought out some deeper "Truth" that I had a feeling existed, but I did not really believe in.
Through my work in the School, I have found that I do have something deep inside of me–far beyond any masks that I might wear to get through life–a true sense of myself that is real, and is timeless. When I have been able to connect with that sense of who I am, I experience life completely differently. I am able to find a profound sense of peace, happiness, and joy. I am able to see that others around me also have something inside of them that is real–even if they might not be able to feel it, or act through it in the moment.
The School constantly challenges me to stop being dishonest with myself and others–to stop acting through mechanical patterns and masks–so that I can experience more and more of my life consciously, through my true "I.” And there is nothing in this life that has been more fulfilling to me than the moments when I have been in contact with my own Self–and when I can reach out from that part of me to connect with another human being. Those rare moments are the moments that make life worth living.
On the other side, I am confronted every day by my own laziness, pettiness, inertia, and love of habit and comfort. There are so many things to overcome in order to become the man I want to be in this Life. The man that I know I can be. Life is never boring in the School. You are constantly challenged by the greatest adversary you could ever find–yourself. The lazy part that just wants to sleep, eat, stay warm, and have sex for the rest of its life until it dies. The part that thinks it can fill it's emptiness with alcohol, and television. The part that tells me it's okay to lie a little, to cut a corner here or there, to take it easy on myself... the part that makes me mediocre.
Thanks to the School, I know how to be happy. How to have honor. How to be abundant, and generous, and tolerant, and loving, and strong. And its completely up to me to have the courage and perseverance to be the person I have learned how to be.